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Protesting demolition of houses over 800 Valmikis convert to Islam

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Maulana Furkan Raza, pictured during a rally in Rampur, said the Valmikis have been "terrorised".

Maulana Furkan Raza, pictured during a rally in Rampur, said the Valmikis have been “terrorised”.

Rampur: In protest of demolition of their houses, more than 800 Valmikis in UP’s Rampur district embraced Islam on Tuesday.

While the Muslim clerics were barred from carrying out the conversion, the Valmikis donned skull caps to show that they have converted to Islam.

However, no formal conversion rituals were performed, as per media reports.

Those who converted are hoping that it would help them save their abodes, according to media reports.

According to the Valmikis, the state civic authorities had notified them that their houses would be demolished for setting up a shopping mall in that place.

But, the state government denied this and had issued a press release stating that it had no plans of demolishing any illegally constructed structures.

District Magistrate C P Tripathi revealed that an employee of the Municipal Board, Sibtain Nabi had reportedly mislead the Valmikis, asking them to convert to Islam in order to save their houses from demolition. The matter is being investigated.

The Valmikis, who have been protesting against the alleged demolition of their houses in Rampur, Uttar Pradesh, had threatened the government that they would embrace Islam if their plea goes unheard.

(Agencies)

Anti-Islam demonstrations held across Australia

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Police intervene in Melbourne to prevent clashes when rival, anti-racism protesters held event at same location.

Between 500-800 Reclaim Australia protesters turned up for the anti-Islam protest in Sydney [EPA]

Between 500-800 Reclaim Australia protesters turned up for the anti-Islam protest in Sydney [EPA]

by Al Jazeera

A series of small anti-Islam rallies have been held across Australia, with police reportedly forced to intervene to separate protesters from rival, anti-racism demonstrators in the city of Melbourne.

Between 500-800 people gathered in the pouring rain in Martin Square in Sydney’s central business district on Saturday for one of the largest demonstrations, which were held in a number of state capitals and regional centres.

A speaker, who called himself “the great Aussie patriot”, addressed the Sydney crowd, saying: “Out of the world’s 1.5 billion muslims that live on this planet, only 15-20 percent of them are extremists, yet 15-20 percent is around 300 million extremist muslims who are dedicated to the takeover and downfall of western civilisation.”

“Now Muslims have an average of five to eight children per family. So the number of extremists raising all their kids with this point of view…”

One protester, who identified himself as Greg, told Al Jazeera “we’re just fighting for our way of life”.

“[Muslims] come here to live in Australia and they want to change our values, our way of life, to suit them. They come here for a new life – and they want their old life. So why stay here if they don’t want it? They can leave -simple as that.”

In Melbourne, the Herald Sun newspaper reported that 100 police had to physically stand between anti-Islam demonstrators and counter-protesters in the city’s Federation Square top prevent clashes.

‘Implicating good people’

Anti-racist rally organiser Mel Gregson told the ABC that Reclaim Australia was spreading “conspiracy theories”.

“It’s basically implicating good Muslim people in the political movements of a tiny minority,” she said.

“What we’re trying to say is that it is dangerous to allow hate speech to occur on the streets of Melbourne.”

Reclaim Australia, the group that organised the protests, says on its website that it wants to make Islamic law illegal in Australia, ban Halal certification, ban the teaching of Islam in public schools and ban “the burqa or any variant thereof”.

“This peaceful rally … is being used to show the people of Australia we have had enough of minorities not fitting in and trying to change our Australian cultural identity,” the group said.

The group also says it wants to keep Australia’s “traditional values” and “introduce pride in the Australian flag and anthem at all levels of schooling”.

Is the world going Muslim? One in ten Europeans will be by 2050

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Christianity will no longer be the world's dominant faith in the next generation. (AFP/File)

Christianity will no longer be the world’s dominant faith in the next generation. (AFP/File)

by Kashmira Gander, The Independent

A new study charting how religions will develop globally over the next four decades has predicted that one in 10 of the next generation of Europeans will be Muslim.

Research published today by a US think tank has also revealed that Christianity will no longer be the world’s dominant faith by 2050,  as almost all of the major religious groups will increase in numbers.

As of 2010, Christianity was by far the world’s largest religion, with nearly a third of all 6.9 billion people on Earth adhering to it, while Islam was second, with 1.6 billion adherents, or 23 per cent of the global population.

Over the course of the next four decades, the number of Muslims will nearly equal the number of Christians around the world for the first time in history – at 31 per cent and 30 per cent of the global population, respectively.

In those four decades, four out of every 10 Christians in the world will live in sub-Saharan Africa, the Pew Research Centre study suggests.

The Hindu population will rise by 34 per cent from a little over 1 billion to nearly 1.4 billion, while the global Jewish population is expected to grow from a little less than 14 million in 2010 to 16.1 million worldwide in 2050.

The number of followers of so-called folk religions, including African traditional religions, Chinese folk religions, Native American religions and Australian aboriginal religions – are projected to increase from 405 million to nearly 450 million.

Meanwhile, the number of Buddhists will be about the same size as it was in 2010, due to low fertility rates and aging populations in countries such as China, Thailand and Japan.

At the same time, the number of atheists, agnostics, and other people not affiliated with any religion will decline, from 16 per cent in 2010 to 13 per cent by the middle of the century, but increase in countries including the US and France.

In Europe, the percentage of Muslims will rise to around 10 per cent of the population in 2010.

While a larger Muslim population is not an issue in itself, Conrad Hackett, the lead researcher and demographer for the Pew report, stressed in an interview with the New York Times that this figure may be seized by anti-immigrant groups who warn of a Muslim-dominated “Eurabia”.

“We just don’t see that happening,” Dr. Hackett said.

The results are the culmination of a six-year study compiled from more than 2,500 censuses, surveys and population registers from across the world. Researchers took into account the current size and geographic distribution of the world’s major religions, age differences, fertility and mortality rates, international migration and patterns in conversion.

The Pew Research Centre study reasons that religious populations will grow because adherents are younger and have more children, while a smaller portion of people will switch or take up new faiths.

According to the study, Muslims have the highest fertility rate, an average of 3.1 children per woman – higher than 2.1, the minimum needed to maintain a stable population. Christians came in second, at 2.7 children per woman, Hindu at 2.4, while Jewish women gave birth to  2.3 children on average.

All the other groups have fertility levels under 1.8, which is too low to sustain their populations.

New online magazine launched to “combat extremism”

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Haqiqah

by 5Pillars

A new online magazine has been launched with the aim of “reclaiming the internet” from extremists, the BBC reports.

Haqiqah has been created by British Muslim scholars who say they want to do more to educate young people about the reality of extremist movements.

They say it is a direct response to the threat of radicalisation from groups such as Islamic State. ISIS supporters have widely used social media to spread their message.

More than 100 imams gathered in London for the launch of the magazine, which has been started by the website Imams Online.

As yet it is unclear if the initiative is government-funded or not.

“Someone has to reclaim that territory from ISIS, and that can only be imams: religious leaders who guide and nourish their community,” according to Qari Asim, senior editor at imamsonline.com.

“But now that we live in a digital mobile world, some young people are not coming to the mosque so we must reach out to them – and this is the Muslims’ contribution to combat radicalisation on the net,” he said.

“We’re turning the tide,” says Shaukat Warraich, the chief editor of Imamsonline.com.

“Though we still have a way to go, we know that by taking efforts to support and mobilise the huge online Muslim population, we will eventually drown out the violent voices.”

He said that the speed and volume of communications by IS has taken everyone by surprise, with more than 100,000 pieces of information, tweets and Facebook posts coming out of Syria and Iraq every day.

Warraich said that imams had to move from the real world to have a greater presence online, where young Muslims go for much of their information.

The summit was attended by imams, including Sheikh Abdallah Bin Bayyah, president of the Forum for Promoting Peace, and Hamza Yusuf, a leading US imam and co-founder of California-based Zaytuna College.

The organisers say it brought together every group within Islam, from Deobandi, Sufi, Sunni, Shia and cultural groups, and included Somalis, Arabs, Pakistanis and converts to Islam from many nations.

Mangaluru: Blasphemous content about Islam, Prophet on Facebook – Complaint filed

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facebook

Mangaluru: A complaint has been filed in Pandeshwar police station here on behalf of Popular Front of India, alleging that a person had posted objectional comments about Islam and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) that are blasphemous in nature.

Mr. Safwan, city unit secretary of Popular Front of India, has said in his complaint that a person named Nityananda Naik from Kundapur had uploaded certain contents in Facebook which deride Islam, Muslims, Quran, and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

The complainant has mentioned that the above contents have the potential of creating tensions between Hindus and Muslims on religious grounds. He has therefore, requested the police to take immediate action against the culprit. The police have begun investigation.

In gesture of solidarity, Norwegian Muslims form 'Ring of Peace' around Oslo synagogue

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‘There are many more peace mongers than war mongers,’ an organizer said.

Muslims and Jews in Norway formed a 'ring of peace' around Oslo's one functioning synagogue in a show of solidarity. (Photo: EPA)

Muslims and Jews in Norway formed a ‘ring of peace’ around Oslo’s one functioning synagogue in a show of solidarity. (Photo: EPA)

by Nadia Prupis, Common Dreams

More than 1,000 Muslims in Norway joined together in sub-zero temperatures on Saturday to form a protective circle around Oslo’s sole functioning synagogue as a gesture of solidarity with the city’s Jewish community following last week’s attacks on a synagogue in neighboring Denmark.

Chanting “No to anti-Semitism, no to Islamophobia,” the group, made up of both Muslim and Jewish participants, stood in what they called a “ring of peace” around the building. The gesture comes shortly after the attacks on Charlie Hebdo magazine headquarters in Paris, which left 17 people dead, as well as the more recent shooting at a free speech event at a Copenhagen synagogue.

“There are many more peace mongers than war mongers,” Zeeshan Abdullah, one of the organizers of the event, said on Saturday. “There’s still hope for humanity, for peace and love, across religious differences and backgrounds.”

Another organizer, Hajrah Arshad, said the gathering also shows that “Islam is about love and unity.”

Ervin Kohn, one of the leaders of the country’s small Jewish community, said the vigil “fills us with hope… particularly as it’s a grassroots movement of young Muslims.” He added, “Working against fear alone is difficult and it is good that we are so many here together.”

Abdullah continued, “We want to demonstrate that Jews and Muslims do not hate each other. We do not want individuals to define what Islam is for the rest of us.”

China forces imams to dance in street

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China has forced the imams of Xinjiang to dance in the street, and swear to an oath that they will not teach religion to children as well telling them that prayer is harmful to the soul.

China has forced the imams of Xinjiang to dance in the street, and swear to an oath that they will not teach religion to children as well telling them that prayer is harmful to the soul.

In another crackdown on religious freedoms, China has forced the imams of eastern Muslim majority district of Xinjiang to dance in the street, and swear to an oath that they will not teach religion to children as well telling them that prayer is harmful to the soul.

During the incident, reported by World Bulletin on Monday, February 9, Muslim imams were forced to brandish the slogan that “our income comes from the CKP not from Allah”.

State Chinese news said the imams were gathering in a square in the name of civilization where they were forced to dance and chant out slogans in support of the state.

The slogans included statements glorifying the state over religion such as ‘peace of the country gives peace to the soul’.

They also gave speeches telling youth to stay away from mosques, and that the prayer was harmful to their health, encouraging them to dance instead.

Female teachers were instructed to teach children to stay away from religious education and made to swear an oath that they will keep children away from religion.

Uighur Muslims are a Turkish-speaking minority of eight million in the northwestern Xinjiang region.

Xinjiang, which activists call East Turkestan, has been autonomous since 1955 but continues to be the subject of massive security crackdowns by Chinese authorities.

Rights groups accuse Chinese authorities of religious repression against Uighur Muslims in Xinjiang in the name of counter terrorism.

Last November, Xinjiang banned the practicing of religion in government buildings, as well as wearing clothes or logos associated with religious extremism.

In August, the northern Xinjiang city of Karamay prohibited young men with beards and women in burqas or hijabs from boarding public buses.

Earlier in July, China banned students and government staff from observing Ramadan fasting, as officials tried to encourage locals in Xinjiang not to wear Islamic veils.

(Agencies)

The anti-Islamic far-right is spreading in Europe—and going mainstream

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(Reuters/Hannibal Hanschke)

(Reuters/Hannibal Hanschke)

by Kabir Chibber, Quartz

In recent months, a street movement called Pegida—Patriotic Europeans Against the Islamization of the Occident—has emerged from nowhere in Germany, seeking to “protect Judeo-Christian culture” and halt to what it calls the spread of Islam. Though it denies being xenophobic or racist, its leader quit after being pictured dressed as Hitler. Pegida’s rallies have attracted tens of thousands of people in Germany.

And now the group is spreading abroad. Pegida held its first march in Vienna and is to hold its first British rally in the city of Newcastle on Feb. 28, with more planned in the UK. Britain already has anti-Islamic groups such as the English Defence League, a small but vocal force. Only this weekend, the EDL attracted as many as 1,000 people to a march against the building of a mosque.

Time will tell how popular Pegida will be outside of Germany—only a few hundred people showed up in Vienna—but its rising profile is a small part of the growing shift into the mainstream of far-right groups that would have once been shunned.

Britain is also coping with the rise of the anti-immigration UK Independence Party, whose leader has blamed immigrants for his being late to his own campaign events. In France, the Front National is a more organized and established version of much the same sentiment. In 2002, the Front National’s overtly-racist leader at the time, Jean-Marie Le Pen, shocked many by getting to the run-off in the presidential election, and the whole of the French establishment united against him. His daughter, Marine Le Pen, now runs the Front National, which was the most popular party in the last nationwide elections held in France and has become so prominent that she was invited to speak at the Oxford University student union last week (link in French)—her speech was delayed by three hours due to protests. She even gets to write editorials in the New York Times now.

Even Britain’s Prince Charles, who rarely speaks on political matters, is worried about the radicalization of Muslim youths within his future kingdom. The growing acceptance of far-right subject matter as part of political discourse in Europe may just be a sign of our more polarized times—similar things are happening on the far-left in Greece and Spain, for example.

But it could also mean that Europe will have to come to accept voices like Pegida in the mainstream for the foreseeable future. If nothing else, it is a test of the region’s tolerance for dissent. As Germany’s vice-chancellor Sigmar Gabriel suggests:

Whether you like it or not, people have a democratic right to be right-wing or nationalist. People also have a right to spread stupid ideas, such as the notion that Germany is being Islamicized.

British journalist caught lying about being abused at a Mosque

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Channel 4’s Cathy Newman Apologises After CCTV Footage Emerges Of Mosque Incident

by Jessica Elgot, The Huffington Post

Channel 4 presenter Cathy Newman has apologised after CCTV footage obtained by The Huffington Post UK appeared to contradict her claim that she was “ushered out of the door” of a London mosque on the weekend.

The South London Islamic Centre, where Newman claims she was turned away despite turning up wearing a headscarf, says surveillance video shows the reporter arriving at the mosque, being directed by a male congregant, but leaving alone through the courtyard.

Newman sparked a social media firestorm after tweeting she was “ushered onto the street” during ‘Visit My Mosque Day’ which the mosque said provoked threatening voicemails which it has reported to police.

Footage from inside the mosque of the Channel 4 presenter arriving

Footage from inside the mosque of the Channel 4 presenter arriving

The man in the striped jumper (circled) can be seen in a brief exchange with Newman inside the mosque but does not follow her

Cathy Newman leaving South London Islamic Centre alone

But the mosque, which initially apologised, claims Newman’s story is “not correct” and Newman has now apologised for any “misunderstanding”.

After Newman tweeted that she had been “ushered out of the door”, the story was covered by the national media, including the Guardian, Daily Mail, Independent andThe Huffington Post.

It later emerged Newman had actually gone to the wrong location, and her Channel 4 colleagues were waiting for her 15 minutes away at a mosque that was taking part in the open day.

The CCTV clips show the journalist entering the mosque and beginning to take off her shoes while having a very brief conversation with a congregant in the lobby. The man gestures several times to the left, pointing her in a specific direction. She puts her shoe back on, and leaves alone, walking through the courtyard. The entire encounter lasts just seconds.

The man the journalist spoke to inside, who has been identified by the mosque, claims he misunderstood Newman and directed her to the church next door. The man was not a member of the mosque’s management or religious leadership, and none of the Islamic centre’s committee claim to have seen Newman arrive or leave.

Watch the CCTV clip below

Although she briefly returns to the courtyard, and paces around outside the mosque on the street, she does not appear to speak to anyone else within the mosque’s property, only stopping to speak to a few passing members of the public, well outside the mosque’s confines.

“We can see [from the CCTV] that she arrived and that she came into the lobby by the shoe racks and started to take off one shoes,” Aslam Ijaz, the mosque’s chair of trustees and a founding member of Lambeth Interfaith, told HuffPost UK.

“The prayers had already started and you can see a couple people rushing past her but most people are already inside. The gentleman who you see in the video is obviously pointing in the direction of the church, which is what he thought she wanted to go to.”

Ijaz admitted there may have been a misunderstanding of the man’s stated intention in directing Newman to the church. “Maybe she misunderstood, but he is clearly trying to direct her,” he said. “You can see she turns to leave herself, she looks a little confused and then she comes back into the courtyard again, and you can see her twice coming back to outside the mosque and standing on the pavement.”

The timestamp on the video shown by the mosque to HuffPost UK appears to match Newman’s tweets on Sunday.

The footage does not show anyone attempting to guide or “usher” Newman out of the mosque or “onto the street”, as she wrote in her tweets. “I was really surprised that she would say she was ushered out of the mosque, being a journalist I was surprised she would use that description, it was misrepresented. Now there’s this impression we don’t like women. She said something that was not correct,” Ijaz said. Later, Newman can be seen speaking to two people on the street outside the mosque, one a member of the public who the mosque has not identified and who does not enter the mosque. The other is a local cafe owner who claims he came over to ask if she needed assistance, and is seen gesturing her across the road. He claims he was giving Newman directions, the Hyderi Centre is a fifteen-minute walk away, or a bus ride from a stop across from the mosque. Although the time stamp of the CCTV indicates that Newman was still to send her tweets, neither man came from inside the mosque, making it impossible for them to “usher” Newman out, as she describes. She is last seen crossing the road, away from the mosque.

Cathy Newman outside the Streatham mosque

Ijaz later apologised to Newman for her experience, fearing she had been insulted by an uncouth congregant, but said he had not viewed the CCTV footage at the time. Since the story was picked up by national press, the mosque claims has received two threatening voicemails, which it has reported to the police, and a litany of online abuse, but Ijaz said he took particular affront at the accusation the mosque was anti-women. Newman told the Guardian she believed it must have been a men-only mosque, and was not made aware of this, but Ijaz said that is not the case. “We were the first mosque in the area to have a prayer section for women, both ladies and gentleman are welcome here and it wouldn’t be unusual at all to see a woman here,” he said. “I am known for my interfaith work, whenever there is an event with churches, temples, synagogues, I am there. We have open days here at the mosque, and ladies and gentleman are both invited to attend.”

Newman, who has made it clear in subsequent tweets that she wishes to draw a line under the incident, would not expand on why she claimed she had been ‘ushered out’ of the mosque, but told HuffPost UK: “As the primary purpose of Visit My Mosque day was to increase understanding of Islam, I was horrified to hear the Mosque I visited in error has had death threats.

“I’m sorry for any misunderstanding there has been. I would be happy to pay a private visit to South London Islamic Centre once again.”

“It’s not something I would expect from a journalist from Channel 4, it doesn’t make sense,” another congregant told HuffPost UK, adding that Islam as a religion prioritised hospitality.

When queried as to why the mosque had declined to take part in Visit My Mosque Day, Ijaz said: “We were only informed about this initiative [Visit My Mosque Day] on Friday and it’s too short notice for us. There wasn’t anyone to man it. Next time we have a gathering here, I would love to have Cathy here.”

Outside the mosque, which is indeed next to a church, there is a banner inviting visitors in to receive a free Koran. The mosque’s secretary, who said he was uncomfortable giving his name, told HuffPost UK that the mosque had up to 1,000 congregants on a Friday, and several hundred at other times. He added that although there were many regulars, it would not be unusual for worshippers to see visitors they did not recognise. “We often have school visits, teachers here, it wouldn’t have been something that would have fazed anyone.”

I'm Muslim and I'm sorry for everything

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muslim-apologies

by Shehzad Ghias Shaikh

After the tragic Charlie Hebdo shootings there has been a call by some people to make all Muslims all over the world apologise for the incident. I completely agree with the sentiment. It is the only way to root out terrorism for once and for all.

Nothing could make all the victims of terrorist attacks all over the world happier than watching every single Muslim in the world say “sorry”. To really drive the point home, we can even send them greeting cards with our heartfelt apologies.

I am sure the world would reciprocate in kind. We can start an apology trend. Once every single Muslim in the world apologises for Charlie Hebdo then we can move on to making every single Christian in the world apologise for Hitler. Hitler’s moustache is for the Christians what an unkempt beard is for the Muslims. I have no idea why mass murderers are so keen on making fashion statements too.

The British can fly all Brits to all their previous colonies and make them all apologise to every single member of those countries. It might be much harder for the Americans to do the same considering the amount of things they have to apologise for. They can make a world tour out of it: Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Vietnam, Palestine, Cuba, Mexico, Spain, England. At this stage it is easier to just name the countries America does not need to apologise for.

“Sorry” should be the first word we should teach all future Muslim kids. We should roam around wearing shirts which say “sorry”, better yet maybe even permanently tattoo “sorry” on our foreheads.

I personally feel responsible for every single person of my faith who does anything. While I am at it, I want to say sorry to every person who got his slippers stolen at the masjid but if and only if you can confirm that the person who stole your slipper was a Muslim. He must have been shouting “Allah o Akbar” while stealing them for you to be sure.

I now fully comprehend why our justice system has such a huge bottleneck of cases. If every single Muslim is responsible for every single thing done by any Muslim, I do not blame the judges for all the delays. The entire Muslim population of the world has to be included as defendants in every case.

I hope Pakistan’s military courts are much more effective. I hope they can follow the efficient model of North Korea, who use the “three generations of punishment” rule. It is the only way to ensure the collective responsibility for one’s actions. Clearly if a person commits a crime, then people who brought that person into the world must be guilty too. And any person a criminal brings to the world is obviously a criminal too.

Pakistan believes in having family businesses: an engineer’s son is an engineer, a politician’s son is a politician ergo a terrorist’s son must be a terrorist. Why should the unborn not suffer just because they do not exist yet?

Every single Muslim that is yet to be born should be brought up being taught to apologise for everything. Why just limit it to Charlie Hebdo? Muslims should apologise for all the ills caused by Muslims to the world.

To make life easier for all parents, I am drafting a generic apology that they can make their kids memorise.

“My name is (Insert Islamically acceptable name here) and I was born into a Muslim family so that makes me guilty of all the things Muslims have ever done. Before you put me in Guantanamo Bay, I just want to say I am deeply sorry.

I would like to apologise for inventing astronomy. The guilt of Al-Sufi naming all the visible stars in 10th century and Abu-Mahmud Khojandi calculating the tilt of the Earth’s axis in 994 AD is something that I still carry with me. It was because if their crimes against humanity that these terrorists are able to accurately calculate the dates for their attacks.

I would like to apologise for Ibn al-Haytham’s contribution to optical science. Had he not discovered all human beings actually see, how would these terrorists be able to see who they were killing? Clearly these Muslim terrorist organisations have been active since the 10th century. Had Al-Haytham not figured out that light travels in straight lines, we would not have the cameras of today that terrorists use to promote their organizations. Al-Haytham was basically the first member of ISIS.

I would like to apologise for Al-Jazari’s water-raising machines, his use of cranks to push water up helped agriculture and in turn fed all these terrorists: While I am on the subject, sorry about creating hospitals too. They are just a needless obstacle in the way of killing terrorists. I have no idea what 10th century Muslim civilisations were thinking providing free 24-hour universal health care to people. At least I am happy they were self-conscious of this insanity and also created the first hospitals for the mentally ill in the world.

The use of the Al Jazari’s ideas lead to the creation of the bicycle giving the world the horrible form of terrorism called the Tour de France. If watching grown men cycling across a country wearing yellow jerseys is not torture, I do not know what is.

I would like to apologise for the invention of windmills, guitars, the hookah and coffee.

I would like to apologise for the role of Muhammad Ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi in the development of algebra and algorithms. If he was alive, I am sure he would be selected for a random spot check in an airport relying on his work for their daily calculations.

I would like to apologise for Al-Jahiz’s theory of the “struggle for existence”. I am sorry for even mentioning it. I realise it is completely contrary to the Science and Islam binary narrative perpetuated freely by networks such as Fox News. How dare I mention that the theory of natural selection actually has roots in a 9th century book of animals called Kitab al-Hayawan.

I would like to apologise for the University of Al Karaouine, recognised as the world’s oldest university that granted degrees to individuals, way back in 859. I am sure they were just handing out degrees in terrorism anyway.

Sorry about the Caliph Harun al-Rashid founding the House of Wisdom in the 9th century. It was his ill intentions that led to the west being exposed to the works of the Greek philosophers. If it wasn’t for him kids in the west would not be terrorised by the works of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle throughout their school lives. I feel their pain.

Sorry for all the art also. And the architecture. All the mosques were meant to be terrorist headquarters anyway so I am glad you took all the inspiration from them and took the techniques out of the religious context. I am not even interested in anything that happened before the Renaissance in Europe. If you tell me it happened out of nowhere then I have no need to trace the traditions back anyway. It is not like things happen in a historical context relying on all the traditions gone by.

I sound like a crazy person even attempting to compare Andy Warhol’s techniques to the repetition of patterns and pictures prevalent in mosques and Islamic architecture so I am going to shut up about it. We all know Muslims hate art anyway.

Trying to read calligraphy is also terrorism, so sorry about that too.

Lastly, I would also like to apologise for the Arabs discovering how to distil water and create alcohol out of fermented fruits. All the Muslims should definitely apologise for all the drunk driving accidents caused around the world

I could go on but I think you realise how sorry I am about everything. I hope you would be able to accept me as one of your own in a way that would make you feel that you are celebrating diversity but in reality you are promoting uniformity. Thank you for letting me retain my token identity while robbing me of my historical traditions. I hope all the future Muslim generations never get to learn about those traditions so that they find it much easier than me to simply associate all things Islam with merely terrorism. It would make it easier to apologise for them.

Apologetically yours,

(English name I have taken up to make you like me more.)”

This article first appeared on Shehzad Ghias Shaikh’s website.

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